A narcissist is someone who believes the world should revolve around them. They often appear confident, charming, and sure of themselves on the outside — but deep inside, they are very insecure. Their confidence is not real; it’s a cover-up for the fear of being ordinary, unseen, or unimportant. They constantly need attention, praise, and control to feel good about themselves. When people stop giving them that, they become angry, cold, or cruel. They feed on admiration like oxygen — without it, they feel invisible. That’s why they often make every situation about them.
How a Narcissist Thinks and Acts
A narcissist doesn’t see others as equal human beings with feelings. They see people as tools — to use for emotional support, validation, or status. They can be very loving and affectionate at first, but that love is conditional. It’s given when you please them and taken away when you don’t. If you try to point out something they did wrong, they’ll twist the story to make you feel guilty instead.
You might hear them say things like, “You’re too sensitive,” or “You always misunderstand me.” Over time, this behaviour makes you doubt yourself and feel like you’re the problem — even when you’re not. They struggle to say sorry, take responsibility, or show real empathy. They may act like they care, but their concern often disappears the moment your needs don’t serve their image or comfort.
The Hidden Truth Behind Narcissism
Underneath all that arrogance, narcissists are actually very fragile. They’re deeply afraid of being rejected, abandoned, or exposed as “not good enough.” Because of this fear, they build a fake personality — one that looks perfect, powerful, and always right. They protect that image at any cost, even if it means hurting others.
Their problem isn’t just ego — it’s emptiness. They don’t truly know who they are without someone to control or impress.
Why It’s So Hard to Be Around Them
When you live with or love a narcissist, you often end up losing yourself. You keep trying to please them, explain yourself, or win back their affection — but no matter what you do, it never feels enough. You may start believing that love is supposed to hurt, that silence is peace, or that you’re too sensitive. But the truth is, narcissists don’t love in the same way emotionally healthy people do.
They love power, not connection. Their version of love is about possession, not partnership.
How to Handle a Narcissist
You cannot change a narcissist — but you can protect yourself. Here’s how to handle them without losing your peace:
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Stop explaining yourself. They don’t want to understand — they want to win. Keep your replies short and calm.
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Set clear boundaries. Say “No” when you need to. They will test you, but don’t give in. Your peace matters more than their reaction.
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Don’t try to please them. No matter how much you do, it will never be enough for them. Please yourself instead.
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Stay calm when they provoke you. They love drama. Your calmness is your power. When you don’t react, they lose control.
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Keep your truth close. Write things down when they twist stories. It helps you remember what’s real.
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Have support. Talk to someone you trust — a friend, therapist, or guide. You don’t have to face this alone.
How to Heal While Living With a Narcissist
Healing while living with a narcissist is not easy, but it’s possible if you focus on yourself every day — not on them.
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Create your own space of peace. Even five minutes in the morning — breathe deeply, stretch, or sit in silence. Remind your body that peace still exists.
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Speak kindly to yourself. Their words may hurt you, but don’t repeat them to yourself. Replace them with gentle truth: “I’m doing my best. I deserve kindness.”
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Protect your energy. You don’t have to join every fight. Silence is also strength. Let their anger pass through you without absorbing it.
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Stay connected to your inner world. Meditate, pray, write, or move your body — anything that helps you feel youagain. Healing begins when you stop letting their behaviour define your worth.
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Plan your peace. If living with them becomes too heavy, start thinking about what freedom looks like for you — emotionally, mentally, and physically. It’s okay to leave to save yourself.
The Real Healing
Healing from a narcissist is about remembering who you are — someone strong, gentle, and worthy of love that feels peaceful, not painful. You don’t have to fight for love. The right love won’t make you question your value or silence your truth. So if you’re living with a narcissist right now, start by choosing yourself in small ways every day. Because healing doesn’t start when they change — it starts the moment you stop trying to make them happy and start focusing on your own peace.
🌸 With Love,
Shweta Arya(HOLISTIC HEALTH COACH)
Helping you reconnect with your emotional and spiritual strength.
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